A Tribute To My Best Friend 🕯️🤍

I spent the day biking - practicing self care and enjoying the precious time that I have in my life. I wanted to share my feelings about who my first best friend was.

He was my best friend.

He was very successful in his life. He was consistently right in his predictions and found great success in the risks he took. However, he also had a larger vision. He started his dreams but never had the time or opportunity left on earth to see it through.

He left a mess for me to clean up, but I’ve since been doing it and I’ve been very successful achieving these goals on my own. My team standing behind me are still in shock that we are as successful as we have been. I sometimes feel like I have an angel on my shoulder with all I’ve successfully lucked out in, beating some of the largest odds stacked against me.

He was a man who liked to joke around a lot. He liked to mess with people to see their reaction. He was loving, caring and kind. He taught me to respect people and showed me that there are wonderful men in the world - and I couldn’t agree more would be amazing people that I’ve had the privilege of meeting.

The night he passed, I was alone in the room with him. I gave him permission to go.

I promised to work hard to make his dreams come true. I promised to take care of my mom. I promised to always be fair and act with integrity no matter who was watching (as I always do). I promised to ensure my siblings get their fair share as he wanted - despite any of my contrary feelings and opinions. And I promised his legacy will never be forgotten as he will live on through me and my continued hard work to make his visions come to fruition.

I told him that if he was ready tonight, that he could go. However life would be a little easier for us if he waited a few days. But he chose to go when he wanted because he was stubborn and this was his chance to exercise his last bit of autonomy.

I left the hospital and headed home. After I left, the nurse noticed he was agitated so she left the room to retrieve more medication. When she returned, he was gone. To me, I interpreted this as his last “joke” he played on someone. He gave her the impression he was in distress but when she returned, he decided that it was time. It’s almost as though he made her get the medication for no reason. It makes me chuckle a bit because this was a reflection of who he was. This happened just as I was almost home. It rained hard for a few minutes around the same time of his chosen departure, 12:15am.

He was my best friend and I would have done anything for him. He always took priority over my own life and I wanted to ensure I advocated for his best care. I have no regrets because I know I did everything I could, I was always there for him and I spent as much time as I could with him - both when he was healthy and sick. I was always conscientious of his mortality from as far back as I can remember.

I’m taking this week (and next) to grieve and be with my family. I’ll be returning emails and texts as soon as I find the headspace.

I’ll post another blog later on written by another lovely individual. Thank you everyone for your outpouring love and support through these last few years. I am sad he’s gone but I have a belief we will meet again in some other realm. I’m also grateful that he’s free of pain and suffering.

Thank you for taking time to read this.

With love always,

Autumn Addison 🤍