The theme was submission. The man was excited. The woman was pissed because she didn’t expect this. Submission was the theme. Historically, the woman thought her role was to submit. The man felt like his role was to show an outward macho appearance. Previous partners, peers and society ingrained this in them. This narrow belief system wasn’t working anymore.
He secretly wanted to give up control. I saw this and read this in him. I confronted it.
I told him what to do before we met. “Get me a drink too”, I demanded. He didn’t abide by what I asked. Maybe I’m not the one he needed to be bossed around by. Maybe this was the macho part of him resisting out of fear of the submissive part being discovered. The submissive part was hiding. I needed to coax it out with trust and understanding. I felt that today was the day to open my Submission bottle of wine that I was saving. It was given to me as a birthday present from one of my submissives.
It was symbolic that his submissive side needed to come out. And I made him open it. He obeyed. She needed to drink it and feel her role. She wanted to be in control - to call the shots. To take control of her sexuality and explore what she needs instead of giving into his every desire. She just didn’t know it.
I’m the sounding board. I’m the translater. I’m the mediator, interpreter and the middle person. I’m also the director and the motivator. I’m the go between to strengthen the bond. I empower and normalize sexuality between both parties.
We are taught lies about our rigid roles growing up. There is room for changing dynamics. I am the one to challenge these beliefs systems between both people.
Dominance doesn’t always mean taking control - it also means assigning control when you’re willing to give up power and trusting that person to take loving care of your needs too. She needed that wine. He needed to release the submissive within him.
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