My philosophy in life is always pushing for novel experiences - for myself and those who I encounter. But is this any science behind this?
With COVID-19 lockdowns thankfully behind us, many people experienced mental health struggles from isolation.
During this time, I opened my own spa, sold it and moved towards the freedom of an independent/self employed structured career with no more employees (thankfully). Most of the people I encountered expressed gratitude and excitement for having the opportunity to visit me as most people were working from home at this point. Why? Because they were getting out of the house and breaking routine.
One study found that people feel happier when they have variety in their daily routine, which neurologically was also found to be stimulated in the hippocampus and striatum, associated with the reward centres in our brain (Heller, Shi & Hartley, 2020). This study tracked a person’s physical location via GPS and also used f-MRI imaging to measure brain activity (Heller, Shi & Hartley, 2020). Although this study was done prior to COVID-19 lockdowns, they also suggest that even small changes to our routine can produce similar effects of reward, such as exercising at home, taking a different route to the grocery store or even going for a walk around the block - which is what many people did during lockdown (Heller, Shi & Hartley, 2020). Participants also self reported feelings of being “strong” “relaxed” “excited” or “attentive” on days which they had more variety on physical locations with proportionate variety and spending proportionate time across these places (Heller, Shi & Hartley, 2020).
Another study suggested that making decisions in perceived stimulus-reward environments (vs. volatile environments) adds to the stimulation of the prefrontal cortex, associated with decision making as well as learning (Massi, Donahue & Lee, 2018). Stimulating the prefrontal cortex can also strengthen neural connections, and positively impacts memory as well as motor skills mixed with rules when distracting information is present (Massi, Donahue & Lee, 2018). This suggests that novel experiences also strengthen resiliency and learning, even when they’re outside of your comfort zone.
Many people who want to try novel experiences with me have already some interest and indication that this will be a pleasurable experience but, most importantly, I always remind people that they are in control of the situation, as consent is important, and that they have the opportunity to change their mind at any point before or during the encounter. This removes the idea of volatility of the environment and puts the person in the driver seat (with my encouragement).
So you try something new with me and you don’t like it or you decide not to follow through with it. So what? This means you may have learned something - within your parameters and with you giving consent to proceed - and that type of experience can also be rewarding. We can discuss what may have “went wrong” or how you felt in that moment. We could discuss if you may want to try it again or leave it until you may feel ready to re-explore. We can talk about the fact that we never have to do this again. The point is that you can learn from all experiences - good, bad or neutral.
Exploring sexuality isn’t just about sex. It is part of self exploration, finding where you boundaries lie and also explore your thoughts, emotions and desires relative to how you feel in the moment, your past experiences or even internalized trauma. It’s about talking about these things with someone you can trust and not feel judged or shamed. It’s about finding a safe space to explore with an empathic and like-minded person who respects you as an individual, normalizes and celebrates your differences and is excited to be a part of your growth. And it’s also about challenging your inner belief systems, find your own happiness and learning how you can find yourself separate from what you’ve been taught growing up.
Other ways to create novel experiences, according to an article written by Jessica Stillman written in Inc. is:
Travelling: which can also lead to self discovery through learning about what you like, how your values relate to the culture and what you are capable of.
Changing your routine: this is something that I enjoy about my career because I have control over my schedule. But even incorporating something small, like fitting a workout in during your afternoon, developing a new skill or even re-exploring an old idea that you haven’t had the time or energy to further pursue.
Start a new project: assess risk and understand that the value of this experience is associated with learning, not success.
Search out new ideas:
Disagree with people: I love this and this is something I put into practice. We cannot be 100% correct on every topic because there’s also space for debates, scrutiny and grey areas.
We are meant to grow, to change and to try something new. So what will 2024 do for you?
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