Overstimulation

When I mention overstimulation, some of you might think I’m referring to attempting to climax with continuous physical stimulation - and eventually “numbing” out “, so to speak. However, this is only part of what I want to focus on in this blog.

I like to start out with massages because it is a great way to help a person relax and move closer to climax without physically touching anyone’s genitals. If we start out with sexual stimulation right away, some people might get stuck in their head. Therefore, I think it’s important to touch everywhere except the erogenous zones (continuously) upon initial contact.

Now I realize I’m not accounting for individual differences in the statement, but I always consider the question, “what is the best chance of achieving climax while enjoying every moment of our shared time together?”. I find that creating a space of ultimate relaxation can get a person out of their head and into the moment with me. In addition, for first timers, it can also build a sense of trust as our genitals are our sacred areas, and sometimes it can feel intimidating to have them handled by a stranger right away - let alone a stranger that hasn’t built trust with me yet. I want to ensure that you know I’ll be gentle and conscientious of how you feel with my touch (and I want to assure you through my touch that I know exactly what I’m doing - not just “tell” you).

After you’ve given me time and trust to massage you and gently touch you all over (not focusing specifically on your genitals exclusively during this build up), I will handle you with utmost care. If you have a vagina, that means gently (and firmly) stimulating your clit, taking breaks initially and coming back for more until I see you are ready to climax. It means slowing down when you’ve reached climax and giving you (extended) breaks in between if you so need to. If you have a penis, it means gently stimulating your cock, chasing the pleasure of full and firm strokes but not giving it to you right away because I don’t want to overstimulate you. For anyone, it means making your desire more and more pleasure with my touch, giving you different levels of stimulation mixed with light to firm touch and everything in between.

For some people, there are other levels of overstimulation that can cloud your mind and prevent you from living in the moment. Some intrusive thoughts can creep in about yourself, being hard on yourself and judging yourself irrationally. It could be the voices of past lovers in your head that made you feel insecure about something about yourself. It could be unrealistic pressure on yourself to “perform”, even though you don’t have to perform with me. Whether you cum or not is irrelevant, and although it is always a better experience for you as the recipient, I am insightful enough to not be offended because I know this isn’t about me. I will certainly not give up on trying until you tell me to stop. Perhaps you were overstimulated or perhaps this isn’t the reason that you were coming to visit me in the first place. Some people have other reasons to visit me other than climaxing, like having skin to skin contact, building further psychological connections, having the space to release all thoughts and emotions and/or even just to have a good pegging to release all their stress. Climax is not essential for everyone.

Other ways of stimulation can come in the form of the environment that I create. Although I create a very relaxing environment with dimly lit multicolored lights and music that is a mix of (how I would describe) soothing (not too relaxing) ASMR - an environment that me and most people find appropriate for the occasion - there are individuals who might find it overstimulating and distracting to focus, focusing on their pleasure. I’ve been asked to turn down the music or turn it off entirely, to turn down the lights and to even turn off the lights as the colour rotation can be distracting. In these situations, I will just put one spotlight on, and I can put some towels over top of it to dim the intensity if necessary. Some people prefer more (or less) oil, or none at all - using oil only during massage, extra oil on the genitals, very little or withholding any. Please tell me what you prefer.

I think it’s important to express what you need if we are sharing time together. Fortunately, most individuals that I do meet, and those who know well, will know what they need and will ask for it. Finally, I also understand that we are static and what you need may change moment to moment, so please correct me if I’m not reading the room.