Recently I read a social media post of a service providers publicly shaming and making fun of a client regarding a taboo topic that this client shared privately with this provider. People jumped on the bandwagon of berating and criticizing this person for this revelation. I couldn't help but to empathize with this client. This individual came to this provider in confidence as they knew what they told the provider was taboo and no one would understand within the circle of his personal life. I can safely assume they were looking for a safe place to disclose this secret.
The most important question you should ask yourself when someone tells you something shocking and “out of the norm” is, "Is the person harming someone else?".
If the answer is yes, then public shaming is an uncivilized and juvenile way to address this. The better way is to involve the authorities. I cannot imagine a situation where making fun of someone or joking about harming another person is a helpful approach.
If the answer is no, then I still can’t imagine how making jokes or public shaming is acceptable. This situation involved another person, who was a consenting adult, and who was clearly sound of mind. I could only imagine how horrible it would have made this person feel if they read this post (and responses), regardless of whether they remained anonymous without any discerning features.
Part of the post from the provider was that they felt justified in posting because it was not something they could handle hearing and I can empathize with that. We are sometimes people's only confidants and most providers are not trained (or well-equipped) to handle shocking information. However, this situation does not justify the way in which they rallied their social media followers against this person. I felt like it was a cruel and unthoughtful post. I could not imagine publicly shaming anyone who put their trust in me to tell me some of their deepest secrets. In fact, I would never shame anyone for anything they disclose.
To prevent burn-out, I suggest for providers, and anyone really who becomes wrapped up in the negativity of the world, to find a positive and safe outlet to unleash their frustrations. Whether it be working out at the gym to finding a therapist or finding something you enjoy, like getting a massage, playing a spot or practicing meditation.
As providers, we become burnt out and jaded from the amount of negativity and disrespect that we encounter daily from random people. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the negativity and I see this on Twitter on a daily basis. However, from my experience, I can certainly say that the good outweighs the bad in terms of the way people address me and treat me as a person. I have experienced working at an erotic spa and, compared to being an independent provider, I can say that I truly appreciate the people I have met as the experiences as 100 times better as I have more control over the clients that I choose to see. I make sure to remind myself daily to count my blessings and this further strengthens my appreciation for those I choose to surround myself with. This positivity seeps into other areas of my life and has a positive impact in my personal relationships. It is important to practice self-care when you recognize the burn out and don’t turn into a monster as an attempt to feel better – this will only make you feel worse in the long run.
Do you have anything that you are thankful for in your personal or professional life? Do you wish to share any of your horror stories of your encounters with partners, dates, service providers and/or client? Or do you feel like responding to my post? Feel free submit your story via email to me at autumn.addison.massage@gmail.com
Thank-you for writing this, Autumn. I can definitely relate to some of the things that you wrote about on this topic.