From my own experience, and interpretation, I previously believed that physical touch was the only lacking love-language in one’s personal life and the initial reason why people sought out my services. However, I’ve come to realize that as a person opens up and lets down their walls with me, there are other love languages that aren’t being met. Here are some examples that I’ve heard and interpreted from my clients' experiences
1. Words of affirmation
"My wife always criticizes me when I do something wrong but never compliments me when I do something right."
This can have a detrimental impact on a partner because a person can feel undervalued and unappreciated – which in turn can negatively impact self-esteem and confidence.
2. Quality time
"When I get home from work, I would love to sit and talk with my wife but instead she likes to watch TV all night, which is boring for me."
It is understandable that sometimes people like to veg out after work. However, I believe it is important to set aside some time either daily or once per week to spend quality time. Without any quality time spent, a person can feel ignored and neglected as their thoughts and feelings are not being recognized and they are not being rejoiced for any accomplishments they may take pride in sharing. Therefore, I think it is important to set aside specific quality time to maintain the connections in your relationships.
3. Acts of service
"I do all other cooking and cleaning, because I work less often than she does. Because she has expectations for me to fulfil these duties, she will get angry when I fail to meet these needs."
In every family structure, a system typically works because not everyone’s circumstances are created equal. However, I believe that it is not about the fact that a person does more of one chore than another, but rather about the expectation drawn out without any appreciation. In this circumstance, this individual was looking for words of affirmation from their wife to show appreciation and acknowledgement for the hard work it takes to maintain the household. “Thank you for cooking dinner” or “I understand that cleaning is sometimes difficult so I appreciate that you help me in this area of the household.”
4. Giving Gifts:
"My wife has returned a gift I gave her because she said it is too expensive. She does not like to spend money."
In my opinion, this is a symbol of rejecting his love as he put a lot of thought into purchasing a gift he was hoping would make her happy.
I think it is important to recognize and distinguish between what our “giving” love language is and our “receiving” love language. For example, you may enjoy giving gifts to show your love but you may feel loved if someone spends quality time with you instead of giving you a gift. Further, I think it is important to be aware of what the other person’s “giving” and “receiving” love language is. This can help build deeper and more meaningful connections with ourselves and others around us.
Unsure of your love language? Try this quiz – I found it to be the most in depth and accurate.
https://5lovelanguages.com/start/
Does any of this resonate with you? Or is there anything else you’d like to share? Feel free to email me with your contribution to this article at autumn.addison.massage@gmail.com
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