There are various levels of submission - some enjoy focusing on more of the pleasure and others enjoy certain levels of pain. I usually operate on the sensual spectrum. There are certainly people out there that enjoy the thrill of pain. If it’s painful, how could it possibly be enjoyable?
I saw Bob last week and we talked about his desire to be hurt, specifically during pegging. He also shared that he is very submissive and wants me to take total control, even if it means inflicting pain on him. Now, causing extreme pain on purpose is difficult for me to want to inflict on another person. In fact I don’t get off on causing other pain. However, sometimes pain is part of the journey towards the pleasure.
Pain & Pleasure Threshold
There is a fine line between pain and pleasure. With those I interact with, I sometimes try to stay right on this threshold, but focus moreso on the line of pleasure. Some people enjoy the feeling of being spanked and others enjoy edging, which can be experienced as a bit painful (or uncomfortable) by some in terms of denying orgasm. With pegging, the first point of entry can sometimes be painful but, when a person is aroused and fully relaxed, it can make that experience that much more enjoyable.
In Bob’s blog, he shared that he doesn’t like the pain inflicted on him but he likes the idea of a cute girl getting off on hurting him. This is part of his submissive side - taking on the role of the submissive and giving up control through dominance.
Dominance
I get off on being the dominant one - but in a sensual way. I enjoy taking control, teasing, building up anticipation of what is to come next. In Bob’s case, he enjoys the role of being dominated to the extreme where he will take what is being thrown at him, even if there is extreme pain involved. In fact, it seems to be almost desirable because it can almost be a test to his own submission and thresholds. But it’s not for the physical enjoyment of right now, but rather the psychological arousal for later.
Humiliation
Some people enjoy light levels of humiliation - being told what to do, to wear something they usually wouldn’t wear or even to be humiliated in front of others through pegging or light forms of degradation. I’ve had people request verbal forms of humiliation - making fun of their penis size for example.
With Bob, there is a theme of humiliation present and this comes with being submissive. In all types of humiliation, this is a test towards someone’s submission and is an essential part of reinforcing their role of giving up control.
Memento
I’ve fulfilled a person’s request and desire to be spanked - and the enjoyment of feeling the slight burn on their backside as they are driving home (and experiencing arousal from the thought of what transpired). Mr. B even enjoyed the feeling of the residual buzzing after our session, which was intense enough to orgasm again.
Bob talked about the role of a memento in the pain infliction experience. It’s almost like there is a feeling of being connected with the person still - a physical reminder of what happened and that it actually did happen. It’s a piece of the person staying with him long after the fact.
Delaying Gratification
Delaying gratification is arousing for many people I interact with. It’s building up the anticipation to our visit, edging throughout the session and not reaching climax until I am ready for them to (or unless they beg).
Bob doesn’t like the pain during the session - specifically even with the case of the hate-fuck pegging session where it was so painful that he went a year without it. But, he fantasizes about it still. It’s almost like the infliction of pain is not for the moment, but rather for the fantasy to be played over and over in his head for the future. These memories aren’t traumatic, but rather erotic and may also be so strong that he will seek out the very thing that inflicted a lot of pain onto him in the future - as he did with me with pegging (although I was very gentle).
I wonder if any of this resonates with submissives - or if there are other levels of submission. What do you think?
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